She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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