This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I love you. Go after that dick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
