I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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