But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so let's talk penis.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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