So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize