Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize