I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize