Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize