yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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