Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
