My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
