I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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