Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize