No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
