There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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