Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize