do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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