no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
