im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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