She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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