Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
