Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
