So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
