had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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