Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
