Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
