I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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