I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
