And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
