We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
