too bad you live with your parents still
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
