Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
