I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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