I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
