I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
