Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
