Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

Fav 20 6257 893
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(970): View more from Colorado

Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back

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(303): View more from Colorado

I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.

(303): View more from Colorado

well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you

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(562): View more from California

So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

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(+86): View more from China

Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.

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(360): View more from Washington

I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata

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(574): View more from Indiana

Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.

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