HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
