you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
