oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
