Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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