Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
