Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
