Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
