WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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