this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
