I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Boobs are out for the taking
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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