I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
