It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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