I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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