Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
