I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
