She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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