How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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