you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
