Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
