Buhtt sex?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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