I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
