i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
