Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm passing your future prison.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
