i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
