Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I want a musical about memes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
