Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
