My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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