I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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